Keep a three-year-old in your pocket (March!)

Three for three on the monthly newsletter goal, how about that!

Here's what we've got in this one:

• Updates
• Pocket toddlers
• Beans
• Book review: Project Hail Mary
• Delights of the month

Updates

This update is pinched straight from LinkedIn - some lovely photos from the Fulbright Gala last Month with a little roamer on the floors of the Parliament House ballroom.

Since watching a small human discover colour for the first time, I've rediscovered my love of it and I wanted a dress that celebrated the joy of bright pigments! Bonus that it was stretchy enough to be breastfeeding friendly.

The other update (also from LinkedIn) is more of a PSA which is that LinkedIn now has puzzles, and they are really good. If you play the NYT games, I highly recommend checking them out.

Keep A Three-Year-Old in Your Pocket

I'm currently reading Priya Parker's 'The Art of Gathering' and anyone who has known me for a year or longer would pretty quickly recognise that the ideas within it are very up my alley. The overall thesis is that meaningful gathering is a skill and that gathering well really matters, so one of the earliest things she encourages is to drill into the purpose of your gathering by 'asking why until you hit a belief or value'. Here's an example she gives:

"Let's look at how we might move from the what to the why of something as simple as a neighborhood potluck:

Why are you having a neighbourhood potluck?
Because we like potlucks, and we have one every year.
Why do you have one every year?
Because we like to get our neighbors together at the beginning of the summer.
Why do you like to get your neighbors together at the beginning of the summer?
I guess, if you really think about it, it's a way of marking the time and reconnecting after the hectic school year. Aha. And why is that important? Because when we have more time in the summer to be together, it's when we remember what community is, and it helps us forge the bonds that make this a great place to live. Aha. And safer. Aha. And a place that embodies the values we want our children to grow up with, like that strangers aren't scary. Aha. Now we're getting somewhere."

I love this as a way of digging into the purpose of gatherings (on my mind right now: what is the purpose of a first birthday?). But I also think this idea has broader reach for how we understand the world.

Having someone ask you 'but why?' repeatedly can be, frankly, really annoying. But I've come to think of this "why? why? why?" as an inquisitive three-year-old meeting the world for the first time. There's a purity in the way children seek to build their worldview and it is in that spirit that I think asking 'why?' on repeat can be a tool to both make sense of and deconstruct the worldviews we adults already hold. This is what I call 'keeping a three-year-old in your pocket'.

To me, the utility of a pocket-toddler stretches beyond gatherings. It's helpful when you want to understand something about yourself ("Why don't I bake anymore?" - me, watching Bake Off), or understand something in the world more deeply ("Why is the manosphere popping off lately?" - Louis Theroux, probably).

The most useful part is the iteration though. Not being satisfied with the first answer ("I don't have time."), nor the second ("It's expensive and clean-up sucks.") and pushing through to the third or fourth layer ("I need to feel a purpose for baking, I'm motivated by it being 'for' something or someone.") is where you hit your values.

If you find yourself unable to answer, that's also useful information - and can prod you to go searching for more information, sit with the question for a little while, or challenge where your assumptions underpinning the topic really come from and if they're necessary ("Do you have to do a first birthday party?"*).

Your values might point you to reimagine something different instead. Or learn something new. Three-year-olds don't ask 'why?' with an agenda, they just want to understand (okay, some are doing it to test boundaries of being annoying, but this imaginary three-year-old is the sincere-type). Turning that same spirit of understanding towards yourself can be such a valuable tool for personal growth.

(Bonus: if you use AI chat bots - try it on them to drill into the biases in those systems as well.)

*For anyone who knows me in real life, I am obviously doing a first birthday party. With a purpose!

Comic: Beans

or: sentimental Wednesday.

Book review: Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is a review from the archives of my Goodreads profile - I read this book back in 2022, but absolutely loved it. I'm very keen to watch the adaptation (and side note: Ryan Gosling's SNL episode was so funny).

What a great book. So so enjoyable, some really fantastic sci-fi, good characters, great stakes, an unexpected ending and way less sad than I’d feared it would be!

This is a roll-your-eyes dad joke, overly-enthusiastic science teacher of a sci-fi novel. If that isn’t your vibe, well, that’s pretty much the main trait of the main character so maybe this one isn’t for you. But I ended up finding Ryland Grace so endearing, and the contrast of the sheer enormity of what he was doing to the way he approached solving problems and nerding out was brilliant.

There are a good few twists and turns I did not see coming, though parts of this story are predictable in a wholesome way. Overall this whole book ended up feeling like a beloved childhood film you’d find in the “family movie” section of Blockbuster. I was totally invested in the characters, sold on the science, sitting on the edge of my seat.

Overall a highly recommended sci-fi that has the stakes and drama of interstellar space travel and global catastrophe mixed with the energy of Ms Frizzle being given a challenge to solve. I had so much fun.

Delights of the month

Most of them are baby-related because most of my life is baby-related and she is such a delight (mostly).

Indy